Regulating Emotions

A feeling emerges in your body
Physical or emotional
Well, technically its both
Emotions are experienced physically in the body
But we generally do not wait long enough to feel them entirely

Instead
When we feel an emotion we do not like (e.g., anxiety, sadness, shame, etc.)
We habitually try to avoid it
By impulsively eating
By impulsively drinking or smoking
By impulsively justifying
By impulsively getting angry
By impulsively checking the phone, email, media
By impulsively shopping

We jump straight to the reactions
Straight to the reward

Therein lies the rub

We feel an unpleasant emotion
And then we reward ourselves!

It’s no wonder we keep on feeling unpleasant emotions…

Try this instead:
When you feel the pull towards the reward
See if you can also notice the emotion behind it
The one that is hiding
And see if you can get curious about what is happening
In that particular dance

In art and music
We like to experience many emotions together
Sadness and optimism
Happiness and longing
Anger and charm
Grief and transcendence

When you feel the impulse
You do not have to jump straight to the reward
You can sit
And feel it all
In all its glory

This way
Rather than feeling and reacting
You can feel
Wait
Experience
And then choose…